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Is your product's spokesperson willing to pronounce awful truths, truths so awful to hear that, as if by an eldritch whirlwind, the consumer is sucked from the world of life and advertising and flung onto a plane void of desire and need and fulfilment, where the aeons pass, indistinguishably, one after the other, one by one by one, under the light of a sickly sun, only to be returned at last to our time and place, emptied, afraid, alone, and with one thought: 'I want things, while there is still time. Tell me what I want.' Is your spokesperson willing to do that?
Or is he or she willing to get naked?
Up, me chummos! Huzzah, huzzee!
Jodhpurs, hotspurs, jingo tea!
Barracks, jharaks, radaree!
On the road to Kedgeree!