b l o g
 

7.1.05

Fun with Real E-mail 

Surely, memos are sometimes necessary. And there is always something to alert people about: doors needing replacing, fireplaces forbidden to be used, 'beloved' archways hit by cars, the Dean's cat, people exposing themselves, leaves, etc. But this notice, I think, is my favorite:

'Dear GC Residents,
As many of you are aware of, there are many squirrels living around and in the GC. These squirrels can be a problem and a potential risk for students. In order to keep squirrels out of the building, please make sure that you keep all windows closed, do not leave entryway doors open, and do not keep food outside your room. Squirrels can easily enter through open windows and doors; they search for food, destroy property, and, in general, annoy residents. The campus squirrels are bold and used to living among people. Students should exercise care so that they do not have any squirrels and other unwanted visitors in their living quarters, risking the possibility of being bitten. Trash containers must be kept in suites or rooms until ready for disposal. Full containers may be placed in the hallway for disposal but otherwise should not be kept in the hallway. If you find a squirrel in or around your room, please call facilities customer service at 8-8000.
Thank you for your cooperation,
Lisa'

Yet, my inbox is even gladder when it hears about an 'Employment Opportunity' like this:

'Currently our learning is recruiting the English teacher assistance for our spring break section class. We need 1-2 teacher aid for our 9 to 11 grade students. Mainly is to help students to go over the Grammer,writing skill,vocabulary and help them prepare the SAT Verbal stuff. We are wondering that your graduate studnet may have time and interesting to apply this position. This will be the contact information as follow: English teacher aid: working hour for 3 weeks, 30 hours tuition pay: 15-22 per hour. Contact : lily from Quakerbridge learning center. Email: qlc4044@aol.com tel: 609-933-8806'

Those kids are going to kick the hell out of the Verbal stuff.

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