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Fun with the United States Patent and Trademark Office site.

United States Patent D465,636
Cereal bar having a cereal flake included thereon
The ornamental design for a cereal bar having a cereal flake included thereon, as shown.

United States Patent 6,776,991
Methods for treating priapism
A method for treating priapism in a mammal by administration of a botulinum toxin.

United States Patent 6,159,529
Method for enhancing the salty-taste and/or delicious-taste of food products
A method for enhancing the salty-taste and/or delicious-taste of food products and materials thereof, containing sodium chloride, by using trehalose without imparting any unsatisfactory taste and flavor. The content of trehalose to be incorporated is usually in the range of about 1.5-12% to the food products and materials thereof, on a dry solid basis. The method can reduce the content of sodium chloride used in conventional salty food products without losing their satisfactory salty-taste.

United States Patent D409,428
Ornamental child's pillow in the fanciful form of a skunk
The ornamental design for an ornamental child's pillow in the fanciful form of a skunk, as shown and described.

United States Patent D464,498
Death care merchandise display unit
The ornamental design for a death care merchandise display unit, as shown and described.

United States Patent 6,609,945
Radio-controlled toy blimp with infrared beam weapons for staging a gun battle
The remote-controlled air, land or water borne toy vehicle comprises: a body; a printed circuit board mounted in or to the body; a receiver connected to the printed circuit board for receiving commands; hardware on the printed circuit board including control circuitry for manipulating the toy vehicle in response to commands received by the receiver; and a motor drive mechanism mounted on or to the toy vehicle for moving or propelling the toy vehicle in response to control signals from the control circuitry. Preferably at least one of several infrared emitting simulated weapons are mounted on the toy vehicle and are selected from the group including a machine gun, a cannon and a missile.

United States Patent 4,204,501
Anti-lick ring for automatic drinking troughs for animals
An anti-lick ring for an animal drinking trough which is held inside the trough by spaced connecting devices.

United States Patent D501,280
Set of decorative ponytails for a bicycle helmet
The ornamental design for a set of decorative ponytails for a bicycle helmet, as shown and described.

United States Patent 6,007,404
Jesus doll for teaching children
A soft-bodied doll bearing a resemblance to a caricature of Jesus. The doll includes a voice simulator which preferably has recorded thereon phrases from Jesus' actual ministry as recorded in God's word, the Bible. A responsible adult can use the Jesus doll to teach young children about Jesus' historic life, His ministry, His teachings and His love for His children. Alternatively, the voice simulator can have recorded thereon simpler phrases which reflect Jesus' character and love for His children. The doll includes an actuator for the voice simulator contained within a body portion of said doll which may be manually activated to speak one or more of these phrases. In one embodiment, both sets of phrases are included in the doll on separate voice simulators with a switch permitting the supervising adult to transition the doll from use with a young child to one who is capable of understanding Jesus' actual teachings when the child's vocabulary and mental faculties dictate.

United States Patent 5,919,079
Play sword lollipop holder
A play sword lollipop holding device for entertaining children. The device comprises a plastic handle which is the main housing with one or more plastic telescoping sleeves attached to the handle. The last sleeve, which is the smallest, has an aperture at the end to hold a lollipop on a stick. A child can enjoy playing and eating his/her play sword lollipop with the flick of their wrist. This action causes the telescoping sleeves and candy to extend outward from the handle making a sword to play with. When not in use, the telescoping sleeves collapse one into the other for easy carrying and storage.

United States Patent D444,188
Grandmother love doll
The ornamental design for a grandmother love doll, as shown.

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Last year a server at a Sizzler steakhouse in Norco, Calif., was arrested after a fight with Atkins-dieting customers over whether vegetables could be substituted for potatoes. Participants in online food industry forums reacted with understanding, though the consensus was that Jonathan Voeltner, the server, had gone too far in following the customers and covering their house with maple syrup, flour and instant mashed potatoes.

Just when it seemed as if the real estate market couldn't get any barmier, it has. With inventories lagging behind demand and prices for new homes rising seemingly by the hour in destination cities like New York and second-home markets like Miami and Orlando, home buyers are camping out overnight in front of sales offices, pestering brokers and developers and scooping up multiple units in the real estate version of scalping. 'People get excited and get caught up in it,' said Joel Lazar, a Transeastern vice president. 'Even if they weren't planning on buying a home, they convince themselves to buy a home.' John Vogel, real estate professor at the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth College, said the sales hysteria has troubling parallels. 'We've now moved past the stage of people saying we've got to get in before it's too late,' said Mr. Vogel. 'Now we're at the speculator stage.'

I spit upon this dreadful banker's grave
who shot his heart out in a Florida dawn
O ho alas alas

Erik Kennedy
Erik Kennedy


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