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Cut-out bat mask by General Mills, $3.99 (prize on back of box of Trix); ladies' coat by DKNY, price unknown (free with marriage); M-7A railcar by Bombardier, $2.25 million.
There is such a thing as coincidence, but not at erikkennedy.com. On the same day:
A pork star
For the record, I asked Richard Griffiths (second photo) whether he was a sponge or a stone. No reply.
incubation vs. infantory
the Dunmore Pineapple vs. the vulgar suburbs
a murder at Boiling Lake vs. a murder in a wind tunnel
'I'm nauseous' vs. 'I make people sick'
a bottle of piss vs. a Glasgow kiss
Con Edison (Brazilian footballer) vs. Humbert Humbert (Brazilian footballer)
the disappointment you feel when no-one laughs vs. a holiday so relaxing you forget to live
revengetables vs. chilled soup
being 'virtually bone from the neck up' vs. 'need[ing] daily watering'
lawn-chair ballooning vs. Inner Freedom for the Imprisoned
H.M.S. Brilliant Prize vs. Paula Radcliffe
clean tub, filthy towel vs. clean towel, filthy tub
the vagina dentata vs. the Corpus Clock
a maternal friend vs. taking all the price stickers off your shopping
Wenry vs. Wank
a bound bird in freefall vs. a blind buck in barbed wire
cooking with blood vs. cooking with semen
Equus, with Daniel Radcliffe vs. the din of a distant shipyard
beating someone up in your blog vs. being beaten up for having a blog
Philipp Kirkorov, the Russian Michael Jackson vs. Vijay Mallya, the Indian Richard Branson
'you Cross-shitting, hunchbacked leper queer' vs. 'you flat-chested, cock-sucking, spastic horse-fucker'
being divorced in secret vs. Dudley Do-Right
the Headache Institute vs. the Centre of Immensities
the Crime of the Fortnight vs. the manimum penalty
geniality vs. genealogy